Cosmo Tip:
When your partner is about to orgasm, whisper ‘Hodor’ sensually in their ear.
Play the audio and let your life near completion.
WHAT IS THIS I CANT EVEN
I’M CU-RYING OVER HERE
WHAT
If they had had an LJ kinkmeme in Victorian times, it wouldve been a billboard hidden in an inconspicuous London alleyway, with veiled figures pinning on pieces of paper with lewd suggetions for short stories written upon them.
And Oscar Wilde would’ve started a big scandal by walking into the alley proud and unveiled, surrounded by rentboys and pinning a up a sign that said in massive letters, “SHERLOCK HOLMES LIKES IT UP THE ARSE”.
- jim: hello?
- person on phone: hello, is this jim moriarty?
- jim: yes, of course it is, what do you want?
- person on phone: this the bakerstreet pastry shop. as part of our shop opening, we're offering complementary cinnamon roll and coffee today at--
- jim: SAY THAT AGAIN.
- telemarketer: w-wha--
- jim: say that again and know that if you are lying to me, I will find you, and I will sssskin you.
- person on phone: c-cinnamon rolls and c-coffee? today?
- jim: wait...
- jim: so if you have what you say you have, I will make you rich. if you don't, I'll make you into shoes.
- jim: fuckin' love cinnamon rolls and coffee
This is an open letter to barackobama.tumblr.com:
Please follow apsies.
Sincerely,
The Internet
Dear Internet,
You had us at Leslie Knope.
Followed.
Sincerely,
The barackobama.tumblr.com Tumblrers
(Source: imwithkanye)
